February 28, 2002 - 8:15 a.m.

Everyone at church received a letter from the Pastor a few weeks ago about signing up to volunteer for Nursery Duty. Well, to be in the law they have to have these forms filled out by anyone who wants to help out. It's just general info about your age, if you were ever convicted of a crime, and the last question was "Were you ever a victim of child abuse/molestation?"

And, sadly to say, I am. It happened when I was 5 yrs old and the guy was my cousin. We were living in Korea at the time so I'm not quite sure what the laws were for that. Anyhow, I told my mother after about a month of him starting it and I remember her yelling and hitting him to stay away from me and to get out of the house. From then on, he wasn't allowed in the same room with me alone. EVER. Even now, if I went to Korea to visit my mom, and he came over, someone would stay with me the whole time. My mother and my aunt talked about it and apparently no charges came about. I'm not quite sure though, I was only five. I started going to therapy when we moved back to the states.

So, the only people that I've told about this is my husband and my best friend from high school. I never told anyone else, especially those at church for some reason. And now, to bring it up again and have to tell the pastoral staff, is like reliving it all over. I've had no problems sexually, and I've been active with the kids ministry here for the past 3 years. I'm afraid that they'll tell me I can't work with the kids anymore because of what some jerk did to me 18 yrs ago!

I'm going in on Saturday to talk with a pastor's wife. It's easier to talk with a woman about such things. Pray for me. I need it.

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