April 22, 2002 - 11:31 p.m.

I'm back. With little hooplah about me coming back to my humble abode. And we did find an apartment that we liked. Actually, he liked it, I can live with it. The one I like is next on the list to apply for in case of some horrid reason we can't get into this one. Either way, I have to find a home for my doggy Sparky. My cat can stay, lucky for him cats don't usually get any larger then 20 pounds. And that's big for a cat.

Anyhow. The trip was pretty much uneventful and dull. The whole point of me going down there was to check out apartments with him. And we only went all day Monday and half of Friday. So the rest of the time was spent hanging out with each other, driving each other crazy. I was stir crazy due to the fact that I don't know anyone except his parents and they work. So it isn't like they were jumping to entertain or do things. But we do things, for example, we went to WalMart about everyday. Yup.

My husband went with his dad on the job one night to get a lay out of the town. His dad is a taxi driver at night. That was all fine and dandy untill his dad dropped him off at 3 in the morning and he wanted some sex. I almost punched his head when he nudged me (it's that whole thing about being used to sleeping alone deal, you know how that is right?) Crazy hubby wanting sex at 3 AM, I mean, come on. . . .

Things between hubby and I are pretty rough lately. Been stressing about moving and he's finishing up school up there and getting ready to go full time school in the fall. So, things have been flying. I'm excited about actually living with my husband for once. We haven't lived together for longer then a month the whole 4 1/2 years we've been married. I wonder what it's like to live with my husband. He, on the other hand, is having issues with it. I think he's just putting way too much thought into it. But he doesn't think so.

I've also been so used to having control over the whole money issue and now he's all into it and wants to know how much is going where and all that. So, I'm having trouble telling him all that goes on with that. He does and should know exactly where his hard earned money goes. It's just hard to let go the control and share and say, "hey, we have this much money, I'm paying the gas, phone and car, I am also going to spend 100 on such and such" When before, it was more like I was telling him we have 100 to spend on whatever till pay day, make it last. No questions asked. So, what's the deal you say? I don't know. And over the week, we got into a huge argument because I paid $900 in bills (two car payments, and a credit card bill, thinking ahead and trying to pay it off faster, left us with $400 to use on vacation and to last till payday, to me it was logical and no bounced checks) And I didn't tell him I paid $900 on bills, so when he went to look at the account, he saw and had a caniption. I told him my reasoning and he proceeded to remind me that he had to pay for his uniforms this week. And, truth to tell, I really did forget he had to pay for his uniforms at the end of this month or I would have only paid one car payment and half the credit card payment. Well, when I said that, he went off to say that I never listen to what he has to say and that I always forget what he has told me.

I told him I was sorry I didn't tell him. And he proceeded to tell me that I needed to figure out a way to pay for his uniforms by the end of next week. I had no idea, but I calmly told him I would think of something and prayed in my head that God would give us a miracle. That all happened on Wednesday. So needless to say, he and I were not on pleasant terms the rest of the week. We talked but only of superficial things. And even at the airport on Sunday morning was terse and we fought again about stupid things. He went to his gate 45 min before boarding began. He turned and gave me a kiss before leaving. Twas the only affectionate thing he did for 4 days and we won't see each other till August.

God did send a miracle via tax return money. I'm so glad. Now, I have one less thing to think about. But I still have to fix my car, it won't make it to Texas in the condition it's in. Anyhow, that's another entry.

Going to go though, think about ways to solve problems of my marriage to the man I love. Pray for me. I need it. Love you D-Land. Good night.

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