Pre-Pregnancy weight: 195 lbs.
Current Weight at end of pregnancy: 202 lbs.
May 03, 2002 - 11:46 p.m.
You know, I wonder if he knows what he says can hurt me as much as they do. I know they are just words, but words hurt and sometimes, I am just not made of rubber, I'm made of glue and they roll off that pretty toungue of his and stick right to me.
The other night he told me that when Christmas break rolls around this December, that he'll be taking a road trip to see some friends graduate from various schools and then just go see some friends while driving cross country. Well, that's all fine and dandy to me till it became obvious that he wasn't planning to take me along with him. That would have been fine had it not been for the fact that a month ago he told me he wasn't happy and that maybe spending more time trying to spruce up the relationship would help our marriage.
So, for him to tell me that he was going to drive cross country to visit friends without me hurt. More then I think he realizes. And to tell you the truth, I don't think he really cares. I don't think I even care.
Been in it for 6 yrs and it's as if we never advanced beyond the "high school getting to know you stage." I don't know. I've been out of touch lately, not really wanting to face our marital issues. And I think I'm just waiting till I have to come to grips with it all and then it'll boil down to us getting a divorce in a few years. I'd hate for that to happen, but I've lost hope. And I'm begining to look elsewhere.
I'm such a horrible person.
