September 04, 2002 - 1:48 p.m.

Okay. About what I wrote earlier. S, my husband, got a letter from a girl back in high school. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind him getting letters from girls who are real, genuine friends. Several of his genuine friends are female. And we all know each other, went to the same high school and they have also become my friends.

But this girl that wrote him a letter is an ex-girlfriend. She fell for him hard and took him breaking up with her badly. I don't know. I guess I'm just curious about what her intentions are. Are they good? Are they bad? Does it have to do with that whole "the guy who got away" syndrome?

You know, reading back over what I just wrote and how I was/slightly still feeling, I suppose I would look like some psycho jealous wife. But really, I'm not. I need to keep telling myself that S LOVES me. He may not be a perfect man but then who is. But he does come home to me and I expect him to be honest with me in everything.

I don't know if you'd call what I'm feeling as jealous. Maybe? Maybe not? I was thinking in my head last night as he read the letter was: Does he think she is better then I am? She does have a college degree, she seems to have clear cut goals in her life (I, on the other hand, have goals that are slightly out of focus), she knows what path she is taking and in my opinion, prettier then I am. In other words, it seems that whatever qualities I don't have, she does plus others of her own.

And maybe I'm just reading too much into this. I just need to relax and repeat to myself "S really DOES love me"

He switched the television back from going through the vcr today. I hate using the vcr remote to switch channels and then using the tv remote to change volume and to turn it off or on. Drives me crazy. Well, he switched. Bless his heart, I thought it was sweet. And he dusted while he was back there. What a guy.

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