Pre-Pregnancy weight: 195 lbs.
Current Weight at end of pregnancy: 202 lbs.
October 08, 2002 - 4:31 a.m.
It's about 4 in the morning. S has just left for school. I can't go back to sleep.
I often wonder what my husband thinks or feels. I wear it all out there on my sleeve for the world to see. He never used to be that way. I wonder if he still thinks I'm not his soul mate? I don't know. That's in the past, but still hurts when I think about it.
Truth to tell, if we ever get a divorce, I don't want to be friends with him. He told me that if we do, that he would still want to be good friends with me because we've been through so much and no one can just throw that away.
Anyhow. Talking about a divorce that may not happen is depressing me. It's a big weight that is on my heart right now. It's been on my heart since S told me he wasn't happy. And I don't know if there is anything to do to get rid of this feeling, but time heals. And it'll probably be in the back of my mind because it was brought up.
S has been quiet the past two days or so. I wonder what's going on? He's got a lot of videos to catch up on this week and that's probably got him stressed. I wonder what would make him feel better? Besides him wishing he kept up with the video class. I've got to think of something.
