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Pre-Pregnancy weight: 195 lbs.

Current Weight at end of pregnancy: 202 lbs.

October 15, 2002 - 12:39 p.m.

FUCK IT!

I am one pissed off SOB.

The world has been unjustly cruel. I want to scream, cry and throw one big ass tantrum.

ASSHOLES.

Nothing. Everything. That's what's wrong.

It seems I am doing all the work here. I keep the house clean. I cook dinner. I wash the dishes. I feed the cat.

Oh. He does one thing. No. Wait. Three things. He does the budget. He pays the bills. And he brings home the paycheck.

I, on the other hand, live in a fucking BUBBLE world of my own.

I am working so hard on this marriage and it seems he isn't trying one bit.

ASSHOLE.

THE WORLD IS A MEAN PLACE.

It would be nice to have a conversation with him. An arguement that isn't about us. It would also be nice if he didn't think that everytime I touch him intimately (rubbing his leg, massaging his foot) that I want sex.

FUCK.

Is that too much to ask?

He did buy me a movie yesterday. And some kim chi.

Our relationship is not about just sex anymore. Mainly because we are finally living together. But now our conversations are lagging in intelligence. Not that they held any intelligence in the past 5 years. But, he wants intelligent conversations, I mostly keep current on the news so we have a sort of basis for that.

I'm really just in a rut. I hate the world.

You know what?

FUCK THE WORLD.

ASSHOLES.

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