December 22, 2002 - 5:46 p.m.

Hubby and I went to pick up my friend, D from the airport last night. Okay. Doesn't sound like a big deal right? Wrong. This friend from high school emailed me last week asking me to pick him up from the airport and give him a ride to his aunt and uncle's house. Would have been fine, except, D is a guy. Yes, I'm technically allowed to have guy friends, but this felt wierd. I'm not sure how to explain it.

In high school, him and I were really good friends, to the point of actually being best friends. But then, I got married, moved away to live on my own with my husband, bought and sold a house, and have had responsiblities of paying bills and being a wife. D, on the other hand, still resides at home (not that there is anything wrong with that because one of my best girlfriends, Chelle still does but she's actually lived on her own before) he has yet to live on his own and have responsiblities. Yes he does graduate from college in the spring but doesn't know what he's going to do after graduation. If you are going to graduate in one semester, at least have a tentative plan as to what you're going to do.

Anyhow, I was really apprehensive about picking him up because he could have easily called his aunt or uncle to pick him up seeing as they live closer to the airport then we do. I was so apprehensive, I brought S along with me. One reason I brought him with me was because I wanted him to see that there was absolutely nothing going on between D and I. And my other reason was simply because I didn't want to be alone with D. (Forget the fact that I don't have any clue on how to get to the airport from my house cuz it's an hour away)

So. We pick him up from the airport and figure out our way to his relatives place. The ride itself was tiring because it seems he hasn't changed much at all from the person I knew in high school. Maturity wise anyhow. I found it hard to talk to him at all during our drive to drop him off. It was as though my old friend was the same goofy high school kid I knew and that really bothered me. It seems that most of my other friends from high school have grown in the 5 1/2 years since graduation but D seems to have missed out somehow.

Anyhow. Once we got to his relatives house, I opened my door to say goodbye to him, I didn't get out because I was really tired and feeling nasuas, he said to me "Aren't you going to give me a hug goodbye?" in this voice that sounded like he was hurt. And truth to tell, I didn't care. I was not going to give any guy a hug. That is an unspoken rule. And besides, S was never comfortable with D being my friend, so for me to give him a hug would have been taboo. The only guy I've hugged in the past 5 years would be my husband, my dad and my brother. So, I was taken aback that he would even ask for one and then look hurt that I didn't even touch him except to shake his hand bye.

I don't think I am wrong. I was a little upset to see three cars in the driveway of his uncle's house when they live only 20 minutes from the airport and hubby and I live a whole hour.

I've been going crazy all along about whether or not to continue my friendship with him. And now, I don't think I want to. I'm not saying that he isn't a nice guy or anything, but I don't feel comfortable talking to him. Heck, I can't even think of anything to talk to him about. I don't share things with him like I do my friend Karyl . Karyl and I have been friends since junior high and we have yet to run out of things to tell each other, or shoulders to lend out for one another. My life is completly different now then it was five years ago. Hubby and I are actually looking foward to being parents in 7 months, we're getting our lives back in order and I'm happier now then I've ever been in my whole life. And staying friends with D, I think would jeopardize this balance that S and I have worked so hard to find.

So my mind is made up. And to tell you the truth, I'm not sad. I'm kind of relieved. I'll cherish the friendship we did have in high school, but I know that I can't have a relationship with him and still be as committed to my husband as I want to be. And my husband comes first in my life, after God of course.

Speaking of God, I went to a church this morning and it was the best one I've been to so far. I'm going back next week and see how it goes.

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