June 11, 2003 - 9:55 p.m.

Why is it that my immediate family seems to be grating my last nerve? I just got off the phone with my dad and my younger sister. My dad was telling me "you know your mom is a clean nut, be sure to have your house clean before she comes to visit." As if my house was superbly dirty right now. And does he really think I'm going to be thinking how clean my house is when I've got a newborn to care for? Puh-leeese. Grr. I'm getting irritated just thinking about the conversation because he brought it up 3 times. I also told him that I had 4 contractions yesterday. He about had a cow. He couldn't believe I didn't call my doctor. And he had no idea what Braxton Hicks contractions were even though he's had 4 children himself (not HIM but you understand). Did he think the body just has contractions when it's time to deliver? The body has to condition itself for such a rigorous workout. And then I talked to my sister. She is getting her undergrad degree in education. That's all fine and dandy if teaching is what she wants to do. But it turns out that she doesn't want to teach at all. I asked her what was the point of getting a degree in something you KNEW from the begining that you really didn't want to do anyways? She just said she didn't know what else to do. Everyone else expected her to go into teaching so she did. Which is a totally ridiculas reason. My theory is if you are going to spend 4 1/2 years of your life getting a college degree, you might as well get it something where you THINK or KNOW you will enjoy as a job. She also said that God wanted her to be in college. That I understand but God also wants her to be happy and work to her potential until she gets married. She said she isn't planning to teach for the rest of her life, just until she gets married. That's fine too. But what happens if she doesn't get married till she is 30? That's almost 10 years from now. And what happens when she does get married, her and her new husband can't afford for her to stop working right away? She's going to be stuck in a job she doesn't really want to be in. And teaching is no easy thing. I certainly would NOT recommend teaching as a career to anyone who wants to keep their sanity. I've seen and heard enough from friends who are teachers to know that I would NEVER go into teaching.

And my sister and I were talking about my cerclage (the stitch in my cervix) also. She asked why I had to have it in and I told her for the umpteeth time it's there to keep my cervix closed. Then she asked what was the point of having it when I could get up and walk around anyways. I said "If I don't have it, the baby's weight would dialate my cervix too early and I'd deliver the baby and she would die." She still didn't get it. I kept trying to explain that the cervix is what keeps the baby in and mine is weak and needs reinforcement to keep it strong. But I don't think she understands. And then I told her that my OB is taking it out around June 30 and my sister said "that's a month too early for the baby to come out!" I said that it's 3 weeks before my due date and she certainly is welcomed to come out anytime after that! She can probably come out now and more then likely be fine! But I told my sister that after 37 weeks, the baby is healthy enough to be born without any complications. And I'll be 37 weeks in 3 weeks. (yes, that makes me 34 weeks right now)

Anyhow. That was my conversation with my dad and sister. I feel a bit better now that I've vented a bit. I suppose my hormones are going whacky and I'm tired even though I slept a good 10 hours last night. Well, as well as I could when I'm getting up every 2-3 hours to go the bathroom only to tinkle very little. I geuss that's practice for when I have to get up every few hours to feed the baby. I should go now. My entry is super duper long and my eyes are starting to droop from staring at the computer screen.

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