June 20, 2003 - 10:54 p.m.

Today was a total waste. I didn't do anything. I did a load of laundry after S fixed the dryer. Only to realize that the dryer wasn't drying the clothes, just turning them. And of course, I have a load in the washer that needs drying but I was too lazy to take my wet clothes out and walk down to the laundromat at my apt complex to pay 75 cents to dry them. And I don't have enough room on my little hang clothes rack for all the wet stuff. Go figure. So I just lounged around while S did his english homework. In the middle of all this nothingness, S and I had a little spat over our cars registrations and money. Argued AGAIN about is father watching our baby for $50 a week while I go to work and school. (Ain't happening cuz I'm not going to get a job that pays enough to be worth paying anyone to watch my kid long enough for me to work and go to school) Jerks. Not my fault we're tight on money this week. And despite the fact that I resent having to give my husband's hard earned income to his parents when his father could easily go find a job someplace to supplement what they need. It isn't like we're made of money. And we're probably going to end up paying for the trip to VA, the hotel room and the trip back. In the meantime, hoping that I don't go into labor while they are gone. You know. This week is turning into a very horrid one. Sometimes I wish that I wasn't preggo just so I could get a job to make ends meet a little. But do you know anyone that's going to hire a pregnant woman about to give birth in 3 weeks or less? NNNNNOOOOOO. And forget about getting paid maternity leave if someone does hire me. Do you really think McDonalds is going to do that? NOOO. (Besides, smelling the inside of a fast food joint just makes me quesy right now)

Well, I didn't pick up the clutter around the apartment today. I sat around and basically did nothing. I got on the computer several times. S managed to screw up my screen name while he was doing some homework. When I tried to sign on this afternoon it was royally messed up and I had to go potty to cry it out. I'm such a dunce. I've cried twice this week. I think I'm stressing out over him going out of town for 5 days. In the back of my mind I'm hoping I'll go into labor while he's gone just to spite him. But then I'm hoping I won't because there's only one person I know that's willing to take me to the hospital in case I do and she's never driven to my house before. And I really don't want to give birth by myself. Why couldn't his brother just postpone the wedding a month or something? It would make life so much easier. NOOOO.

I'm going to go. This is just driving me nuts.

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