April 15, 2004 - 4:18 p.m.

I'm very blah today. Need to get motivated to work out and eat better. Or at least eat something. I haven't been that hungry lately. Probably because I'm stressing about life in general.

DH's sister and her husband have been talking smack about me to people. Mainly, it's her husband doing it and the only way I knew was my best friend from high school heard and told me. I don't care what they say and I don't know why I get mad or upset. I just do. I don't like it when people say things about me that are not true. He told my friend that the only reason I went to Seattle was to have an affair. Little does he know, DH was the one who BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET. Do you really think my husband would send me to WA to have an affair? And on top of that, doesn't he know that #1 - I would have to swing both sides of the fence because the friend I visited is a woman and #2 - even if I DID swing both ways, my friend and I are not attracted to each other like that.

GGGGGRRRRR. Then he told her Greenbean and I are moving in with them (why would I move in with them when my dad lives 5 minutes away and we could have the whole basement to live in?!) and that I'm a bad mother because Greenbean isn't crawling yet.

Can you tell this really bothers me? On top of all that, DH came home the other day and said that Hillary called him last week and he "forgot" to tell me. She hasn't called in over 1 1/2 years so I wonder if she really kept his mobile number handy. Or if he emailed it to her again for some odd reason. PPPSSSSHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

breath in 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 breath out

Okay. I feel better now. Not a whole lot better, but definitly better. I totally need to get out of this whole attitude funkiness. This is not good for me or for Greenbean. Attitude funk is a real waste. Maybe I should talk to someone about this. A friend or something. I should go. DH will be home soon and I need to find the number for Pizza Hut. :)

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