Pre-Pregnancy weight: 195 lbs.
Current Weight at end of pregnancy: 202 lbs.
November 09, 2002 - 2:51 a.m.
Yes. I know it's 3:50 in the morning. No need to tell me I should be sleeping right now. But, and this is going to sound crazy, I had a nightmare and I don't want to go back to sleep right now. S just left to drive all the way to Prarie View to do his PT test, and then he has a class at 11. This place is 2 hours away from us and an hour away from Houston. So, it isn't too bad if he leaves PT by 10 at the latest.
Anyhow. My dream wasn't really anything bad come to think of it. But it gave me this horrible sense of foreboding. S and I were supposed to go to his Grandma D's house together, but he never came home, instead, he went to his friends house to study and I went by myself to his grandma's house. Then I was over at his parents house watching a documentary about how these 3 explorers died when the building they were in collapsed all of a sudden, I was watching it with Lisa Simpson. (don't ask, it's a dream remember?) S called right before they died, we had a fight because he was STILL at his friends house and wasn't planning to come home for a while, then I hung up on him. He called back but it kept ringing and ringing and ringing at the same moment, a big uniformed guy comes to the door and the apartment is starting to collapse and I had this feeling I was about to die.
I told you it didn't have anything to it. But it kind of freaked me out and I need to relax and remember it was only a dream. It's been a long time since I had a bad dream. So, it's hard to even think about my last one. My last one was about fish. (again, don't ask dreams never do make much sense)
Anywho. I meant to clean out S's car yesterday because it is stinky. But I never did get around to it. It is one smelly, messy, dirty car. Not saying that MY is clean, but at least it doesn't smell.
My husband asked me why I was so happy all the time and how I did it. I didn't know how to respond. I guess I just don't dwell on things that make me unhappy. Exept for my weight of course, because I notice that everytime I walk up the stairs to my apartment and I get winded. It isn't as though I'm UNAWARE of what's going on around me, I just choose to not dwell on it. I am the eternal optimist. Yes, I can get into a "woe is me, I'm jealous wife" mood, but who doesn't, right? So, there is the reasoning behind all the happiness.
