Pre-Pregnancy weight: 195 lbs.
Current Weight at end of pregnancy: 202 lbs.
October 03, 2002 - 4:38 a.m.
It's been crazy the past two days. Somehow there was a miscommunication between my internet provider and us. So we had no internet access for two days. Which isn't any big deal really.
S did bring up the letter I wrote that night after dinner. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I did not initiate conversation about H. Surprised? I was. Anyhow. He said that H was NOT his best friend, that besides me being his best friend (for obvious reasons, Duh!) His best friends would be C and A.
In this letter I wrote, I told him I didn't just want him telling me he loved me and that I was the only one for him, I wanted him to show me.
On Teusday, he got home around 5pm, which was late for him on Teusday. We talked about his day and about disciplining children, things of that sort. It was nice. We haven't had a conversation like that in at least 8 or 9 months. And he said that the reason he was late was because the traffic was horrendous and he was looking for a flower shop to buy me flowers but he couldn't find one. But then, yesterday, he came home really late and I was getting worried until he walked through the door with a big thing of kim chi and a jar of bean paste (special Korean paste we use in cooking). He set it on the table and said "I had to go all over Houston before ending up in a store in China Town to buy this!" And then he said that he knew I hadn't had any kim chi for a long while and thought it would be a better surprise then flowers because he already told me about them. It was a very wonderful surprise. I almost cried at that.
I've been really worried about this whole other girl thing. I was so wrapped up in it that I was putting myself through an emotional hurricane. (and thanks to hurricane Lili, I don't have classes this morning, yea!) And God showed me that I just need to trust Him to heal my marriage and to help me grow to be a better wife and friend to my husband. And our marriage is healing. I'm seeing that both of us didn't know what makes the other feel wanted, loved or happy. But now, we talked about it, and I'm seeing improvements in both of us as individuals shifting our focus from "what will make ME happy?" to "what will make US happy?" and what can I do to make the other happier to be with me? Something close to that idea anyways.
It's still hard to think about the other girl, H. But I just try and not think about the past and what I've heard or read about how he felt about her and me. He got another letter from her yesterday. I read it too. Nothing special. No one in her family came to Family Day or boot camp graduation. And that she was lonely without friends and family around. She said she was calling family and friends on Family Day and would have called him had she not lost the letter he sent. I'm glad that she didn't call last week. Mean to think it, but I don't think I could have handled it last weekend. I would have told her to never contact us ever again. Yup. Then S would really be ticked. Anyhow. Good thing she didn't call. I don't think I can handle it well if she called right now, but I could handle it much better now then last weekend.
S and I had our 5th anniversary last Friday. But we really didn't have any money, so we are celebrating tommorrow. I don't know what we are doing, but I hope it's great. With Houston being 30 min away, I'm sure we can find something to do to celebrate.
